US President Drives Presidential Limo Through Nascar

United States President Donald Trump flew the presidential limo “The Beast” and himself to Daytona, Florida, to become the first president to ever drive the ceremonial lap at the Daytona 500. …

DOJ Gave $500K Grant to ‘Hookers for Jesus’ Instead of Anti-Trafficking Groups

People are upset after finding out that the Department of Justice gave a $500,000 grant to a group called Hookers for Jesus. The grant money was supposed to be used for …

Rebecca Black Is Back and Wows the Judges

Rebecca Black first gained attention for a song called ‘Friday’. We are going to forget that portion of history for right now (as it is just a sad tale of Internet …

Confirmed: 31 Women Contract Lesbianism after Female-Only Viewing of Wonder Woman 3D

The CDC has confirmed 31 new cases of lesbianism in Texas after an Austin area theater aired Wonder Woman in 3D. [adinserter block=”5″] [adinserter block=”3″]Eyewitness reports confirm details of how the movie …

Confirmed: 27 Men Contract Homosexuality After Viewing Beauty and the Beast 3D

The CDC has confirmed 27 new cases of homosexuality in Texas after a Dallas/Fort Worth area theater aired Beauty and the Beast in 3D. [adinserter block=”5″] or [adinserter block=”3″]Eyewitness reports detail …

Gays Are Using Obama-era Black Magic To Block God’s Wrath From Striking Their Cities

Gays have taken to social media today to brag and celebrate about a bizarre new shield technology has seen in the imagery below. The image captures the moment when a bolt …

Ask Marion: My College Son Bought a Male Romper, Does This Mean He Is Gay?

Email your advice questions to AskMarion@onlyinamerican.com Q: Dear Marion, [adinserter block=”3″]My church parenting group met at a friend’s home last week and we got onto the subject of how our children …

People Are Eating Burger King Mac and Cheetos

The summer of 2017 continues to be a shocker for humanity.  While adult male men are harkening back to their childhood and buying rompers, long-time Burger Franchise is eschewing the modern …

It Does Not Matter If President Trump Commits Impeachable Offenses, Because the Republican ControlledCongress Will Not Impeach Him

This week Democrats are reeling in excitement because the Trump Administration committed a political faux-pas by leaking classified information to Russian diplomats and banning American news organizations from a related press …

Trump Says He Can Release the Most Classified Data Anytime He Chooses, But Can’t Release His Tax Returns Due to An ‘Audit’

Twitter user Tea Pain nailed a resounding point on President Donald Trump regarding the controversy over leaking classified data to the Russians.  Tea Pain: Trump says he can release the most …

Sources: Trump Considered Firing ‘that Jesus Fella’ For Supporting Preexisting Conditions and Charitable Care for Needy

Only hours after firing FBI Director James Comey, President Donald Trump allegedly considered firing Christianity’s Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  As House Republicans must now wait to see if the American …

Donald Trump Fires FBI Director James Comey

No stranger to saying the words ‘You’re fired!’, Donald Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. In today’s press conference White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer confirmed that Donald Trump called James …

Republican Joe Walsh Mocks Jimmy Kimmel’s Plea Following Son’s Heart Surgery, Americans Respond with Fiery Venom

Republican Joe Walsh had some harsh words for late-night television host Jimmy Kimmel and Americans took to social media to express their disgust and outrage at the politician’s commentary. [adinserter block=”3″]Kimmel …