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Gays Are Using Obama-era Black Magic To Block God’s Wrath From Striking Their Cities

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Gays have taken to social media today to brag and celebrate about a bizarre new shield technology has seen in the imagery below. The image captures the moment when a bolt of lightning descends from the heavens, but then is inexplicably blocked by a visible shield.

The Christian Defense League of Texas confirmed reports that Obama funded numerous projects that involved ‘exploring the dark arts and lost artifacts of power’ and it is clear that gays have found some sort of advanced technology or ancient incantation that allows them to cast protective shields.  Multiple gay groups are taking credit for the shield on social media and are now threatening to deploy them in a more militant fashion.

For years Christian families were able to take solace in the fact that cities that became too gay friendly would face tornadoes, flooding and uncomfortable Spring-time heats, keeping gays angsty and on their heels and with less time to concoct plans on how to turn more straight men toward their homosexual lifestyle.

Now with this shielding technology, gays will be able to comfortably sit back in their think-tanks and pool their vast resources to plot, plan and carry out well-crafted plots to destroy the American nuclear family.

About The Author
Marion Uncmeier
Marion Uncmeier

Marion Uncmeier is a New-York based media personality and host of several adult educational programs.


Email questions to the author at marionuncmeier@onlyinamerican.com

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Comments(5)

  1. Reply
    Donny says

    Should have known the gays would resort to wichcraft to.spread their agenda. I warned everyone that when Obama decided to legalize gay marriage, then gays would feel empowered to do whatever they want. Now there are stories of them open pinning down straight men on the street and now even defying holy judgment cast down on them. Help us all Father .

    • Reply
      Tony says

      Oh wow, you must be one of the really dumb stupid people from the USA I keep hearing about. I thought it was a myth but no, there you are with your insanely stupid comments.

  2. Reply
    don Roberto says

    You do realize this is joke, right? Taking this seriously will just make more people laugh at you, and harder.

    Or is this an satire site?

  3. Reply
    Chuck Cosnow says

    What’s really sad is that there are so many gullible, ignorant, fearful, under-educated, and frankly stupid people, so many living in repressive states like Texas and Oklahoma, who believe this preposterous garbage. This, folks, is Trump’s base. This is why they voted for him. Because he spoke like minded garbage, and they fell right into line. Superstitious, racist, homophobic people. Among the dumbest and lowest element of our society.

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