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After Monstrous $223 Million Dollar Debut, Wonder Woman 3D Recruits Thousands of Women to Lesbianism

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The results are in: thousands of women flocked to see Wonder Woman 3D and contracted lesbianism.

Days ago the Christian Defense League of Texas issued a moral alert after reports surfaced that 31 women contracted lesbianism after watching Wonder Woman 3D at the theaters in Alamo.

The warning, however, went out far too late.  All across the country eyewitnesses are giving reports of scenes of hardcore, confirmed lesbianism breaking out at movie theaters.

In San Diego, California, one family allegedly looked on in horror as their mother ‘leaped over the seat and straddled a buxom college coed who was engaged already with at least four or five other women in panting-acts of classic lesbianism’.  All the pandemonium broke out after Gal Gadot ran feverishly through a field of Nazi officers, her ample bosoms hardly contained by lustrous metals forged of Olympian gods.

Other reports are in the same vein, telling of how after certain adrenaline-laced scenes of blatant lesbian exhibitionism, women were instantly clawing each other’s clothing off and grunting, their bodies tense and primal, their loins mounted upward like cats in heat as they skulked about the theater looking to prey on the weak and uninitiated.

Another theater in Texas gave a woman only showing and a group of two ladies, after realizing too late that they were attending a high-risk showing, tried to cover their eyes and ears as to not hear the movie, all while fleeing from the theater.  Other women who were already primed by the movie were in heat and caught them, however, and closed circuit footage shows the women — identified by Christians by concerned family members who also saw the tape —

While thousands of people rushed to social media to warn about the movie’s lesbian influence, the Hollywood advertising machine was already to strong and set in motion.  With over $223 million in profits it stands to reason nearly 7 million people have seen the movie and of that number, over 5 million are likely women who now have the primal lesbian portion of their brains awakened.

About The Author
Marion Uncmeier
Marion Uncmeier

Marion Uncmeier is a New-York based media personality and host of several adult educational programs.

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  1. Reply
    Audrey Bossman says

    Firstly, your grammar is fucking atrocious. Secondly, you speak of being a lesbian as if it is AIDS. It’s a simple part of being a human being, much like over 1500 other species of animals on the planet. What do you expect? Do the macaques just need to pray the gay away?

    Also, your fairy tale book is a joke. Who wants a god that can be goaded into fucking with people as if some drunken bar room dare(the entire book of Job)? Or one that condones a man offering up his daughters to be raped(Lot)? GTFOH with your bullshit.

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