Gays have invented a new state-of-the-art mini-crowbow to shoot straight men in the neck with weaponized toothpicks to turn them gay.
Scientists with the CDC report all across the nation medical clinics are reporting straight men being brought in with symptoms consistent with raging homosexuality. Clinical review of the patients reveal they have several small puncture wounds to the neck region created by a high velocity, spear-like projectile. The blood contains high-levels of homosexual chemtrail.
Investigation into this new phenomena shows that all across the nation, an organized effort of gays to recruit as many heterosexuals as possible is taking place. Gays have given this effort a friendly name of ‘Pride Month’, but those within the know in the gay community secretly call it the Homosexual Recruitment Festival.
Moles within the gay community reveal that gays pooled their vast wealth and knowledge of advanced mechanical engineering to create a mini crossbow that can shoot a toothpick with great accuracy over a distance of 100 yards. This was allegedly done so that gays could ‘pick off straight men at the length of a football field’, meaning even the most toned and tight athletes are at risk.
The Christian Defense League of Texas is warning men to keep their guard up and be wary of any sudden ‘pinches’ to the neck or body. Though the heats of summer are high, it is advised to wear a turtle neck mesh with long sleeves or even an ascot-like tie around the neck to help protect from puncture wounds.
Researchers report that since Monday morning, over 126 men have been hit by one of these weaponized chemtrail toothpicks with an unknown number already succumbed to homosexuality still roaming the street, likely in the throws of unbridled homosexuality typical of the lurid chemical concoction. When these men come to, the CDC warns all they will have us groggy, shameful memories of committing all sorts of gay acts with the men who shot them down in the first place, so timing is of the essence in getting medical treatment.